Word of the Week 29/08/14

I missed last week’s Word of the Week, but if I’d had time my word probably would have been cold. And this week’s word is related to that, even though we’ve had some warmer days too. But with just days to go before I return to work and Bunny starts back at school, the colder weather, the darker evenings, the end of the holidays, are all just making me

word of the week sad

It’s no secret that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (more commonly known as SAD) but this week has seen it return with vengeance. I have no energy or enthusiasm left. My plans for a last camping trip of the holidays are gone as the thought of even trying to get things together enough to go away is even too hard.

I am so sad that the holidays are nearly over, that the weather wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be, that we didn’t get to the beach enough or have enough picnics or adventures. I’m sad that Folk Week was a disappointment and that all I can see ahead now are shorter days, more darkness, colder and colder weather and work. And then my little baby starting nursery – her first tentative steps to final independence from me.

My heart is breaking at these losses. Insignificant and irrelevant in the bigger picture (as the world has so cruelly reminded me again and again this week). But losses that hurt all the same. But I have children and I will continue. And as I do so, I will dream of escaping to warmer climates, of leaving the monotony of real life behind as my children and I explore the world from a campervan. Things I’ll never do, but if I don’t have dreams, I have nothing.