Half an hour isn’t enough. In fact it’s almost cruel in its brevity. Not enough time to ask all the questions, to hear about their day. Too many words left unspoken as time runs away with us and all too soon it’s time for bed. But the cuddles, the hugs, they make it worthwhile. Even if it hurts so much to let them go. And it will hurt even more when I take them back to their mum’s first thing, knowing I’ll not see them for another 4 days. Stuck in a living hell of long hours in a miserable job and enforced time without the reasons for pushing on through.
Apparently it gets easier. I’m not convinced. But this was my choice as I am consistently reminded so I have to suck it up and be brave and bigger than I am. And know that there will be plenty more hugs and cuddles and time for chats next time.