Today is my last chance to do something about all this crap. Tomorrow I have to go back to work and then I’ll have to start the process of sorting out the relics of my broken relationship.
I’ve prayed for a miracle but none has come. No unfortunate accidents that took me out of action for weeks, months. No out of the blue job offers, too good to turn down. And most importantly, no hands to help me up. Other than my wife who keeps bugging me to talk. I don’t want to talk. I don’t know how to talk. That’s why we’re here.
So now, I’m sat on a deserted slope, looking out at the sea as the freezing haar swallows the sunshine that hovers above the horizon. The tide laps below me and jolly classical music plays through my headphones.
This could be the best of days but feels like the worst of days. The sun feebly attempting to shine through the fog feels like my attempts at normality so far. Like the sun, maybe now is the time to give it all up. Just accept my fate that is so blindingly obvious. And has been from the start.