So this morning wife and I had a chat and there were tears (from me of course) and I promised to try to let go of some of my need for control that is making this whole TTC so difficult to get through. This is why I love her so much – she is the only person (other than my mum) who can make me see sense when everything is clouded.
As there is still no sign of my period that was due two days ago, and because my temperatures have gone really high the last two mornings, and because it’s 14 days since the IUI and 15 since the HcG, we decided to do a test just to see what it’s like (I didn’t get to try last time cos my temperatures dropped and my period came exactly 10 days after).
So I did my internet freebie test (one of the sticks that has a blue handle you see on all the galleries out there) and within a minute or so there was a very definite line there, next to the test line. It’s faint, but it’s definitely a line. Wifey agreed. And this was the third wee of the morning. So was already diluted.
Have spent the last couple of hours browsing all the galleries of other people’s HPT results and it really does seem like it could be accurate. The HcG shot should have left my system at least 5 days ago (and I drink gallons every day, so probably sooner). My period is late. And there is a very definite dip in my BBT chart. But then I’ve been taking high doses of progesterone and oestrogen as well. So what if they’ve somehow skewed the result? Google says they can’t, and we all know Google is our friend. But what if?
But this cycle was so wrong on every level – the timing, the lack of lining again, the pain all week.
Surely there’s no way on earth I can be pregnant.
I just want tomorrow morning to come round so I can try again with my first wee of the day (FMU). But I’m going out now to buy some proper tests – even though wifey would rather I didn’t. But then she didn’t want me to test this morning either and is still analysing the test stick hours later in excitement!